I know I’ve written about this before, in my post about finding love via cyberspace, but some disbelievers have prompted me to do a follow up, almost a year later, to prove to the world that magic does happen.
Kobus was a farmer, living about half an hour’s drive from my house in West Beach, Bloubergstrand. I, according to my daughter and best friend, was fast on my way to becoming a spinster, adding cats and dogs to my collection. Kobus had no way of regularly meeting eligible woman whilst living and working out of suburbia, and I was not interested in clubs and pubs as a way of “picking up” any eligible men. I was actually quite happy to remain single, footloose and fancy-free for the rest of my life, planning trips abroad as a single, and just enjoying life. But in their wisdom, said two ladies convinced me to add my profile to a dating site. I succumbed, but only after I carefully planned how I wanted to present myself, and how I was going to handle the whole process. And I prayed too – I asked God to please send the right man quickly, if at all, as I did not have patience to play games.
After a two month period of systematically narrowing the men I wanted to meet down to four only, I made dates with each one, all in one week, telling myself that I would then have a good idea of who I had been mailing to all the time, and if nothing good came from it, I was going to delete my profile and continue with the life of a single person.
Kobus was date number two – supper – on the first day of meeting people. The lunch date was a pleasant guy, and I also met number three on the Monday night for supper, but number four was cancelled after one of my best friends died of cancer on the Tuesday. I did not see Kobus for two weeks, but we kept in contact with pleasant, light-hearted conversation via e-mail. After two weeks, he came to fetch me to his farm, so I could see “his kingdom”, and lunch at the quint restaurant which we later chose to get married at in Riebeek West. We took it slowly, got to know each other, with him driving through almost every second evening to court me the old-fashioned way, and after about 7 weeks and a weekend spent together (not slept together!), it hit me like a ton of bricks to the head – I was in love!!! From thereon things moved very fast. We found ourselves sitting on his stoep one balmy summer’s evening, talking around the “fact” that neither of us wanted to get married again, but that we also did not want to risk losing each other if no commitment was made. Before long, we realised that there was only one answer – we simply HAD to get married! The kids arrived to spend some time with us on the farm, and the wedding was planned to absolute intimate perfection within three weeks.
We have now been married for almost one and a half years, and I still get up every morning knowing it was the best decision I had made in a long long time. I have a husband who picks me flowers at every opportunity – we live far from town, so I don’t get the bouquets I used to, but even the smallest of wildflower picked for me after an unexpected stop alongside the road, has as much meaning as any big bunch of flowers will have. I always get the most comfortable side of the bathtub if I don’t insist that he takes it, by the time I emerge from the bathroom, he is lying on my side of the bed to warm it for me as he knows I hate getting into a cold bed! If my feet feel rough, I get a full massage with soothing lotion from toe to knee, a glass of water is just ever-present by my bedside, and a ready cup of tea as soon as I wake up. In summer my swollen feet are rubbed whilst we sit in front of the television at night. Nothing is ever too much for him, he takes care of our animals probably better than I do. He loves my family and most of all my kids as if they are his own. And so I can sing his praises for many more wonderful gestures bestowed on me.
I know there are a load of hogwash to be found on these dating sites, and I am not naive to think everyone would be so lucky – but we are living proof that miracles, magic can happen, and no, this bubble will not burst – we will keep it shiny, round and buoyant with love and respect as long as we are able to, even though there are those doomsday prophets out there that predict that it will pop sooner or later!
- Too Many Men, Too Few Posts…. (romanticrenouveau.wordpress.com)
- ‘Conservatives Only’ Dating Site Ramps Up for a ‘Lib-Free’ Valentine’s Day (theblaze.com)
- Online Dating: The Secret to a Happy Marriage? (livescience.com)
- Why online love is more likely to last (telegraph.co.uk)
- New Study Shows More Newly Married Couples Connecting Through Dating Sites (wifr.com)